My Poison

"I know from personal experience how damaging it can be to live with bitterness and unforgiveness. I like to say it's like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die. And it really is that harmful to us to live this way." - Joyce Meyer

"Hurt leads to bitterness, bitterness to anger, travel too far that road and the way is lost."- Terry Brooks

It's been a long time since I've written and I guess the time to write is now. I lay in my bed crying, because as much as I have ignored it, pretended it wasn't there and that I was "fine" I am realizing that I am full of bitterness and hurts that have put a wall up between me and God. I don't like getting hurt and typically I'm a very forgiving person. But there's some things in my life that I haven't let go of, I haven't had peace about and I haven't had reconciliation. One thing about bitterness is that it eats you alive. It keeps you prisoner and grips your heart so tight that seeing beyond the hurt and pain is difficult. It damages the heart, the mind and the soul. 

But bitterness can be healed. It can be stopped.

I have a journey ahead of me and I'm broken before Christ. But it's time to get my joy back. It's time to get my peace back. It's time to get my life back. There are times the church may have failed me.... But Jesus never has! There are times my family has failed me, but Jesus never has! There are times my friends have failed me.... But Jesus has always been true. I have to stop being afraid and allowing my past to dictate my future.  For those who have left my life, I have to remember that Gods plans and purposes are greater than I can see. For those who haven't believed in me, I have to remember that I can't allow them to keep me from the future of success that God has planned out for me. 

I  have a lot of work to do.... And the hardest part is taking the initiative to talk to those you have bitterness towards and allow yourself freedom by extending the Grace of Jesus to them even though you're hurting. 

The time is now. I am no longer a prisoner. I have been set free! Who are you holding bitterness against? Take a deep breath and just release it to God, it will allow you to really breathe again.